Saying I Love You
by LucifernSatan
Summary: The way the shower scene should have went. Three parts. KawxShin
1. Chapter 1

He sat on a bench that lined the wall just outside of Central Dogma, music drifted from his ear phones as brown hair rested against the wall. With eyes closed, Shinji relaxed slightly now that tests are done. Over the quiet music came a computerized voice as one of the doors open, revealing a boy about Shinji's age with silver hair.

"You weren't waiting for me, were you?" The boy, Kaworu, who was the fifth child asked.

Brown eyes fluttered open as the boy stepped closer to him, "No… I-I mean… umm… not really waiting." Dark red colored Shinji's cheeks as he spoke, "I was just about to go have a shower then head home. Though, I don't really want to go home."

Crimson orbs flickered with interest, "I would like to hear about your home, can I come with you? To the showers I mean."

"Sure… if you want." Shinji said, he continued to blush even as he stood and walked with the other to the showers.

XXX

The brunette quickly stripped down and slipped into the water, scenery flickering silently on the large screen in front of them. He shifted anxiously as Kaworu climbed in and sat beside him, casually leaning his arms on the ledge.

Chestnut eyes nervously glanced to the other, a blush spreading over his cheeks at the realization that those crimson eyes were staring at him.

"Are you really that afraid of initial contact?" A slight smile crossed Kaworu's face, "You know shying away from others will stop you from being hurt but by doing this you will have to endure the loneliness though we are all fundamentally alone."

The lights suddenly clicked off, leaving the two in the dark, "Time to go?"

"Yeah, I have to go to bed." Chestnut orbs glanced away from the crimson stare, the rosy color not fading from his cheeks.

"With me?"

"No, I-I think you have your own r-room… t-that they gave you... I mean." Shinji stuttered, shocked.

A hand moved from the ledge to cup Shinji's which was resting between them. "But by taking the initiative, we don't have to be alone." He continued, the smile growing wider.

Shinji jumped at the contact, his face turning an even deeper shade of red. He slowly looked up and while his eyes connected with Kaworu's, Kaworu's lips connected with his own.

The kiss lasted only a moment before the silver haired boy pulled away. He licked his lips, savoring the taste before speaking, "Your heart is fragile like glass and that is deserving of my empathy."

"Empathy?" Shinji repeated, blinking in confusion.

"Yes, I'm saying I love you."


	2. Chapter 2

Kaworu smiled at the boy, pressing their lips together once more before standing, "Shall we go?" He asked, holding out a hand.

Shinji hesitated before taking the offered hand and was pulled to his feet. They climbed out, dried off and changed then headed out of NERV and down the street.

Shinji wasn't sure exactly but somehow he had ended up at Kaworu's. The two now sat at a small table, in what was suppose to be a kitchen; talking… well Kaworu did most of the talking while the brunette just listened.

XXX

_Another unfamiliar ceiling._ He thought, staring through the darkness at the off white ceiling. This time though he didn't feel awkward for being there… it felt right, even though he figured it should have as he was sharing a bed with another boy.

Hours had come and went and it had gotten late, Kaworu had offered him to stay the night. Shinji had agreed, still not wanting to go back to Misato's as things there had become… difficult for him.

"What was it that you wanted to say to me?" Kaworu spoke, startling Shinji from his thoughts.

"What?"

"Wasn't there something you wanted to tell me?" The silver haired boy was lying on his back, arms behind his head.

"Oh, it's just so much has happened since I came here, before this I used to live with my teacher. Life was so calm and boring, nothing ever happened. However I really hated my father." _Why am I telling Kaworu all this?_ Shinji thought as the words left his mouth. Chestnut orbs glanced over and that familiar blush appeared when crimson eyes met his.

"Hate doesn't become you," Kaworu turned slightly, reaching a hand out and brushed it against the flushed skin of the other, "I think I may have been born just to meet you, Shinji Ikari."

The color deepened at that comment, he didn't know how to react or what to say. Shinji wasn't even sure that he was deserving of such things, he was worthless after all, a cowardly pathetic loser not deserving of anyone's, especially Kaworu's, admiration and love. His own father couldn't love him, so how could a complete stranger?

"K-Kaworu…" But the fifth child seemed to know what the other was going to say and quickly pulled the brunette into a chaste kiss.

Shinji froze at first, but slowly started to relax as Kaworu held him close. Kaworu began to deepen the kiss, moving his lips and gently licking at the other's bottom lip, silently asking for permission to enter.

All coherent thought left Shinji as the hand was removed from the back of his head and began feather light touches up and down his bare arm. Eyelids closed over brown orbs and finally parting his lips, he gave the other access.

Seeing that the brunette was responding well, Kaworu decided to proceed further and without breaking the kiss, the crimson eyed boy rolled Shinji onto his back. His hand now rested on the boy's chest, slowly it trailed down and upon finding the end of Shinji's shirt, slipped under, touching the ever so soft skin beneath.

Shinji gasped into the kiss, feeling those slender fingers move up his stomach to his chest and they stopped, drawing circles around one of the small pink nubs. The brunette's ears and neck grew warm and colored a light shade of red but despite the thoughts running through his mind, Shinji wrapped his arms around Kaworu's neck, tangling his fingers in silver hair.

Kaworu repositioned himself, straddling the boy's hips; his hand reached around to his back and lifted him slightly, pulling the shirt out from under the other. Dropping the shirt to the floor, he proceeded to remove his own shirt, leaving it with Shinji's.

Shinji's body began to tremble slightly beneath Kaworu, "Do you wish for me to stop?" The silver haired boy asked, brushing the back of his hand over the other's flushed cheek.

"Kaworu… I-I don't know…" Shinji calmed at the soft caress, _what is love? Is this love? The closeness, the intimate touches, these feelings that this is right. He claimed to love me, but I've never been loved before so how should I know?_

The fifth child leaned in, resting his head under Shinji's chin, "I won't hurt you, Shinji Ikari, and I won't proceed farther then you are comfortable with."

Shinji didn't reply, was that what he wanted? Did he want Kaworu to stop? "No… that is… what I mean to say…" He fumbled, trying to find the right words.

Kaworu smiled as he began to kiss the nape of the other's neck. His hand finding its way between their bodies and leisurely undid both pairs of pants. Crimson eyes stared deep into dark brown ones, their lips meeting in a passionate kiss and Shinji once again wrapped his arms around the boy's neck. He wasn't completely sure but his heart couldn't be wrong, could it?

Kaworu shifted his weight as he slipped his pants off, "You are sure?" He asked, looking back at the third child.

Shinji nodded quickly, glancing away in embarrassment. He felt the other's hand reach into his pants, ghostly touching his semi-hard erection and that sent shivers up his spine.

Kaworu sat back, revealing his own arousal as he removed the brunette's pants, letting them as well as his own fall to the floor. He smiled that calm smile of his while positioning himself between Shinji's legs, spreading them so he could see Shinji completely.

The boy blushed but did nothing to hide himself from the other. Kaworu leaned closer, "May I?" He asked, slipping three fingers into the startled boy's mouth. After a moment or two, Kaworu took his fingers back and aimed one at Shinji's entrance.

He slid it in easily and only caused Shinji to jump slightly in shock. The second was a little harder while the third was quite forced. Shinji's muscles clenched tightly around the intrusion and he whimpered softly. With his other hand, Kaworu ran his fingers through the brown locks, calming and relaxing the boy a bit. The silver haired boy pushed his fingers in and out a few times before removing them and replacing them with his erection.

"This may hurt." He whispered, thrusting himself into the small body.

Shinji bit his lip, hard, attempting to stop a scream from escaping and blood trickled down his lip, pooling just before his chin. Kaworu watched this, he hadn't meant to hurt the boy so he leaned closer, while not moving his hips, to lick up the small pool of blood before pressing his lips against the other's and he sucked slightly on that lip, trying to stop the bleeding.

The tiniest smile touched his lips, "K-Kaworu… you don't-don't have to…"

"I didn't mean to hurt you, Shinji, I'm sorry."

"Don't be… I mean… it was my fault." A warmth spread throughout Shinji while he spoke. He felt Kaworu pulse inside him and Shinji knew that he wanted to continue, "I'm… alright now." His nervous voice barely audible.

Shinji twitched as the fifth child began to move his hips slowly at first, letting the boy under him adjust and gaining speed as the desire within them grew. The brunette let a loud moan leave his lips, encouraging Kaworu and to let him know he was enjoying this.

His hand found Shinji's arousal and gripping it tightly started a rough and hurried pace, causing the third child to arch his back into the touch. Both boys panted breath and sweat mingling as they neared their end.

The warmth from before overwhelmed Shinji and it left him in a rush as he released onto Kaworu's hand. Kaworu, who was not far behind, felt the boy's muscles spasm, massaging his erection and causing him to cum in a blast of ecstasy, coating Shinji's insides.

The silver haired boy exhaled loudly, placing a soft but passionate kiss to the third child's lips, then collapsed onto the small body and once he had regained some strength, gently pulled out of Shinji and laid beside him.

Shinji shivered slightly as the sweat covering his body began to cool and in an attempt to stay warm, scooted closer to Kaworu, laying his head on the boy's strong shoulder. He nuzzled the other's neck affectionately, occasionally kissing the skin next to his lips.

"I love you, Shinji Ikari." Kaworu smiled, resting his head on Shinji's, "Whether you believe it or not, you are worthy of my love."

"Kaworu…" _I love you, too._


End file.
